Romance Writing January 10, 2025 12 min read

Building Sexual Tension: The Art of Anticipation

Discover how to create electric chemistry between characters through subtle gestures, meaningful glances, and the power of what's left unsaid. Master the slow burn.

Sexual tension is the lifeblood of romance writing. It's that electric charge that crackles between characters, making readers hold their breath and turn pages faster. But building effective sexual tension is an art—it's about creating anticipation, not just attraction. Let's explore how to master this essential element of adult fiction.

What is Sexual Tension?

Sexual tension is the unspoken attraction and desire between characters that builds over time. It's the "will they or won't they" feeling that keeps readers invested. Unlike explicit scenes, sexual tension is about the buildup—the glances, the accidental touches, the charged moments that make readers yearn for more.

Key characteristics of effective sexual tension:

  • Unresolved desire: Characters want each other but can't or won't act on it
  • Building anticipation: Each interaction increases the stakes
  • Emotional investment: Readers care about when and how the tension will resolve
  • Natural progression: The tension feels organic to the story and characters

The Power of the Slow Burn

The slow burn is one of the most effective techniques for building sexual tension. Instead of rushing to physical intimacy, you gradually increase the intensity of attraction and desire. This creates a more satisfying payoff when the characters finally come together.

Why Slow Burn Works:

  • Reader Investment: The longer you build tension, the more invested readers become
  • Character Development: Time to develop emotional connection alongside physical attraction
  • Realistic Pacing: Most real relationships don't move from zero to intimate instantly
  • Anticipation: Readers enjoy the journey as much as the destination

Techniques for Building Sexual Tension

1. The Power of Proximity

Physical closeness is a powerful tool for building tension. Put your characters in situations where they must be near each other but can't act on their attraction.

Examples of proximity scenarios:

  • Sharing a small space (elevator, car, office)
  • Working together on a project
  • Living in close quarters
  • Being stuck together due to circumstances
  • Social situations where they must interact

She reached for the same file at the same moment he did, their fingers brushing against each other. The contact was brief, barely a second, but it sent a jolt through her entire body. She pulled back quickly, but not before she saw the way his pupils dilated, the way his breath hitched ever so slightly.

2. The Art of the Glance

Eye contact is incredibly intimate and can convey volumes without words. Use glances to show attraction, desire, and unspoken communication between characters.

Types of meaningful glances:

  • The lingering look: When eyes meet and hold for just a moment too long
  • The stolen glance: Looking when the other person isn't aware
  • The heated stare: Intense eye contact that conveys desire
  • The shy peek: Brief, nervous glances that show interest
  • The challenge: Bold eye contact that dares the other to look away

3. Accidental Touches

Accidental physical contact is a classic technique for building sexual tension. These moments should feel natural and unplanned, but they create powerful reactions in both characters and readers.

Examples of accidental touches:

  • Bumping into each other in a hallway
  • Reaching for the same object
  • Helping with clothing (adjusting a collar, fixing hair)
  • Hand-to-hand contact when passing objects
  • Close dancing or other social activities

His hand grazed her lower back as he moved past her in the narrow kitchen. The touch was so light she might have imagined it, except for the way her skin tingled where his fingers had been. She turned to look at him, but he was already focused on the coffee maker, his jaw clenched as if he was fighting some internal battle.

4. Verbal Tension

Dialogue can be incredibly effective for building sexual tension. Use innuendo, double meanings, and charged conversations to create chemistry.

Verbal tension techniques:

  • Innuendo: Words that have sexual undertones
  • Teasing: Playful banter that flirts with boundaries
  • Challenging: Characters testing each other's limits
  • Intimate topics: Discussing personal or emotional subjects
  • Silence: What's not said can be as powerful as what is

"I don't think you're as innocent as you pretend to be," he said, his voice low and rough.

"You don't know anything about me," she replied, but her voice trembled slightly.

"I know enough to know you're not telling me everything."

5. Internal Monologue

Show your characters' internal reactions to build tension. Let readers see what they're thinking and feeling, even when they're not acting on their desires.

Internal tension elements:

  • Physical reactions: Racing heart, flushed skin, nervousness
  • Mental distraction: Can't stop thinking about the other person
  • Fantasies: Brief thoughts about what could happen
  • Denial: Trying to convince themselves they're not interested
  • Anticipation: Looking forward to the next interaction

Common Mistakes to Avoid

1. Rushing the Tension

Don't resolve sexual tension too quickly. The buildup is what makes the payoff satisfying. Give your characters and readers time to feel the anticipation.

2. Making It One-Sided

Both characters should feel the attraction, even if they express it differently. Show both perspectives to create balanced tension.

3. Forgetting the Emotional Connection

Sexual tension works best when there's also emotional investment. Don't focus only on physical attraction—build emotional connection too.

4. Making It Too Obvious

Subtlety is key. Don't hit readers over the head with the attraction. Let them discover it gradually.

5. Ignoring Character Development

Sexual tension should develop alongside character growth. Use it to reveal character traits and drive the plot forward.

Advanced Techniques

1. The Obstacle Method

Create obstacles that prevent characters from acting on their attraction. This could be external (work, relationships, circumstances) or internal (fears, past trauma, personal rules).

2. The Tease Technique

Give characters moments where they almost act on their attraction but pull back at the last moment. This creates frustration and anticipation.

3. The Comparison Game

Show characters comparing others to their love interest, realizing no one else measures up.

4. The Jealousy Factor

Introduce situations that make characters jealous, helping them realize the depth of their feelings.

Pacing Your Sexual Tension

Like any story element, sexual tension needs proper pacing. Here's a general structure:

  1. Initial Awareness: Characters notice each other
  2. Growing Interest: They start to seek each other out
  3. Building Chemistry: Interactions become more charged
  4. Escalating Tension: Physical and emotional barriers start to break down
  5. Peak Anticipation: The moment before they finally act on their feelings
  6. Resolution: The payoff (which can be physical intimacy or emotional breakthrough)

Conclusion

Building sexual tension is one of the most important skills for romance writers. It's about creating anticipation, not just attraction. By using techniques like proximity, glances, accidental touches, and verbal tension, you can create electric chemistry that keeps readers invested in your characters' journey.

Remember: the best sexual tension feels natural and serves the story. It should develop alongside character growth and plot progression. When done well, sexual tension can make your romance unforgettable and keep readers coming back for more.

The key is patience. Let the tension build gradually, give readers time to invest in the relationship, and make the payoff worth the wait. Your readers will thank you for it.